TheCapeBlog

Yesterday, we had a visit with a neurologist in Hyannis who talked nonstop about politics and his opinion of the state of the union. He’s one of the very few people of Irish background in my acquaintance who has read and mastered Ulysses.

Although some of his opinions are unnerving, I appreciated his “cuckoo” comment.

He was encouraging about Ron; we are all dealing with the consequences of age (Ability, Balance, Cognitive, Diseases, Emotion), normal and not exceptional.

I closed the deal on Henderson and we will soon be residents, as the realtor said not only of Berkshire County but of Williamstown.

https://www.niche.com/places-to-live/williamstown-berkshire-ma/

https://www.bestplaces.net/health/city/massachusetts/williamstown

https://statisticalatlas.com/zip/01267/Overview

Having heard nothing from the insurance agency I contacted two days ago, I took out a homeowners policy with an online company, Lemonade.

Ron mowed the whole yard yesterday afternoon and did his usual fine job.

The Williamsburg sellers made an offer in lieu of the repairs I requested. I gave it a lot of thought and counteroffered.

I like the house and yard, love the location and don’t want another 7 hour round trip to see properties.

Waiting for an estimate from the roofer. I texted him with a question about siding.

Spoke with a gent about renting his house for the month of December.

Lizzie was up at 4.

Ordered shears to cut Lizzie’s hair.

No taxes on up to $500,000 profit on sale of 20 Dixon with married joint return tax status.

Holmes shut off the irrigation system.

I’m working on sorting and packing my basement goods.

Took Ron out last night for Chinese food buffet. I liked the vegetables, spring rolls and fresh fruit.

Got the oil changed at Cormier’s. Probably the last visit before we move, nice goodbye from Buddy.

Todd was over early to install smoke/CO detectors. We had an old plug-in CO detector that wasn’t working so it had to be removed to stop the beeping, leaving the junction box exposed. I stopped at an electric supply store and the great people there sold me a plate to cover the junction box. Ron installed it, neat solution.

Picked up bagels for Ron and hamburger for Lizzie, prescription for me, dropped off a payment to Cape Cod Coop and got advice on when to get the payoff amount.

I sent Jesse a list of to-do items from the home inspector’s report.

Was in touch with a couple of homeowners about a short term rental for the month of December.

Realized today that I never took Ron’s car off the insurance policy. I’d assumed GEICO would do that as part of their claims administration, but Nay. They informed me that I’d need to cancel his registration, which I was able to do thanks to having his license plate info on the police report.

We had a good meeting with the attorney to sign the last papers for the Dixon Drive sale.

Lizzie woke me up last night. I caught up on sleep around noon, but did get some packing done, linens and a start of donate-ables.

Ron and I got her bed back together.

Beautiful late afternoon, enjoying the foliage, drinking wine. Ron is in a decent mood. Wish this perfect moment could be frozen in time.

Finally – after an aggravating conversation with a noxious Sunnova customer “service” person – figured out that they need a draft of the 20 Dixon deed for the solar transfer.

I’d like to have a word with whatever jailhouse lawyer drafted this piece of babble: “ownership of the property used to then verify when filed with county clerk’s office.”

Yesterday, picked up used moving boxes from Colony and Priority Mailed the first deposit funds to the realtor. Also did a transfer station run.

Got a message that I was running out of space on Outlook, which meant I was at risk for not being able to send or receive emails. Went through the Inbox and cleared over a Gig and a half.

I referred to Ron as “thing” the other day and he wasn’t very happy about it.

Asked Barrett if they’d be up for an overnight visit with Lizzie so Ron could come with for the home inspection, but they thought it would be too much for them.

Movers will be packing up on the 23rd.

Lizzie’s poor stomach was growling all day yesterday, but she seems to be fine today. She woke us both up last night. She was hungry but also lonely. I did manage to get a couple of hours of sleep in afterwards.

Pretty foliage around Mashpee this week/weekend.

Turns out our buyer is a musician, a harpist in fact. She’s written a book about the Irish harp. Gee, think she’ll fit in here? Like a glove….

Trying to figure out what pushed me to put this house on the market. Happened in August, I think, around the time we were asking (nicely) for the Affordable Housing Committee to be recorded and for David to be named Chair of the SB.

I signed off on the agreement with the moving company today and after a call from Barbara, sent instructions for transfer of the solar contract to just about everyone I could think of.

Received much appreciated guidance from my Williamstown attorney very early this morning on a closing date: November 30. Moving trucks will arrive on December 1.

Barbara’s company is sending a cleaning crew on the 28th or 29th, can’t remember which.

It seems to be my Karma to have these complicated matters happen around the time of holidays. We’ll be living with boxes for several days which freaked me out at first but who cares.

Betsy has been very encouraging. Peter says he just might visit. I realized today that I might not see him again otherwise. I’m scared of that prospect. It made me cry when I looked at the peony from his yard that I transplanted. Hope to take the plant with us. Asking for advice from gardeners.

In the clip, Viola Davis says she felt “like a bad ass” after getting through her intense physical transformation.

“When I was a girl wanting to win the Miss Central Falls Recreation Contest — wanting to look good in a bikini, wanting to be thin and cute and delicate and pretty — I just wanted to be willowy and thin. I was always muscular and thicker, and I felt like my femininity could not be created with this canvas. And then all of a sudden, with this role, my muscles, my arms, my thick legs, my heavy voice were perfect. I felt unapologetic about it. I celebrated it physically in every way,” Davis tells PEOPLE. “Sometimes you do a movie and then it’s over. And sometimes, you do a movie and it shifts you a little bit. You’re a little bit better for it. And that’s what it’s been like for me with the training.”

https://people.com/health/trainer-details-intense-fitness-plan-for-viola-davis-the-woman-king-cast-they-became-warriors/

The Silenced Adoptee

The latest fad in adoption positive rhetoric is being “trauma-informed.” Make no mistake, being a trauma-informed parent or mental health practitioner is a good thing. But being trauma-informed does not absolve one from knowingly and willingly inflicting trauma.

This is what we are seeing now with the newest wave of “adoption reforms” that aim to make adoption “more ethical.” If prospective adoptive parents are trauma-informed, they will be better parents and therefore, adoption will be better. But let’s examine the logic of this. Adoption is an institution founded on classist, racist, ableist, and colonialist ideologies. It is rooted in the idea that the only valid family structure is nuclear, that only certain people are worthy of parenting, and that money is the best indicator of parental fitness. Most importantly, adoption causes trauma, and we know this, through both empirical research and the testimonials of plenty of adopted and displaced people. Adoption is systemically harmful, unjust, and unnecessary.

The idea that being a trauma-informed adoptive parent is somehow going to magically dismantle all these intersecting oppressive forces upholding the adoption industry is a category error. You are mistaking your individual experiences within an institution for the institution itself. The system is fundamentally unethical and it cannot be reformed into a state of moral goodness by some trauma-informed parenting. If you know adoption causes trauma and that trauma is preventable, then you are perpetuating a harmful system if you adopt. And it doesn’t matter how much you have read about or been trained in trauma-informed parenting.

Positioning trauma-informed parenting as a way to make adoption more ethical is like saying it’s ok to buy this puppy from the puppy mill because I’m going to give it such a loving home. Not only have you not made puppy mills more ethical, but you are perpetuating the practice.

#adoption #adoptees #adopted #displaced #systemicharms #trauma #traumainformed #ethics #humanrights #morality #familypreservation #abolishfamilypolicing

Retained a Williamstown law firm to review the P&S. Attorney got back to me last night with some good feedback and a suggestion for a minor change.

Made an appointment with a home inspector.

Booked reservations for me so Ron could stay with Lizzie.

Ron gave Lizzie a bath yesterday evening.

We met with a moving company representative yesterday. Estimate is in line with what I expected.

Realtor said he’s shown the house to over 20 people.

Finally feeling mostly back to normal.

Brought Lizzie to the vet this morning for her semi-annual checkup.

I’ve been fretting that I lost the cottage with views, but this morning, Ron said he didn’t care about that and loved that the house we picked has a two-car garage.

Phew.

Appraiser visited today. Unexpected but we had a chance to get her in here earlier than originally planned, which was great.

I am on edge about all of this: the money I’ve spent, the money committed, will everything fall into place.

Our attorney’s office sent the release of mortgage docs to Ed.

Cramps and excretions from 8 on Saturday, all day Sunday. Still going on now, Monday morning, but not as bad. Haven’t felt that kind of pain since I had menstrual periods.

Making an offer on a house in Williamstown. Not ideal but has a lot to offer: low price, 2-car garage with attic storage, 2 bathrooms with step-in showers, pantry, laundry on first floor, three bedrooms.

I was furious with Lizzie last night. She Trumped diarrhea all over the kitchen. I got hamburger for her; chicken and rice is not as nutritious as I thought.

Betsy has kindly agreed to let us stay with her in between houses. Fantastic.

I ordered dog diapers for Lizzie.

Gave Lizzie her meds yesterday.