TheCapeBlog

Trying to figure out what pushed me to put this house on the market. Happened in August, I think, around the time we were asking (nicely) for the Affordable Housing Committee to be recorded and for David to be named Chair of the SB.

I signed off on the agreement with the moving company today and after a call from Barbara, sent instructions for transfer of the solar contract to just about everyone I could think of.

Received much appreciated guidance from my Williamstown attorney very early this morning on a closing date: November 30. Moving trucks will arrive on December 1.

Barbara’s company is sending a cleaning crew on the 28th or 29th, can’t remember which.

It seems to be my Karma to have these complicated matters happen around the time of holidays. We’ll be living with boxes for several days which freaked me out at first but who cares.

Betsy has been very encouraging. Peter says he just might visit. I realized today that I might not see him again otherwise. I’m scared of that prospect. It made me cry when I looked at the peony from his yard that I transplanted. Hope to take the plant with us. Asking for advice from gardeners.

In the clip, Viola Davis says she felt “like a bad ass” after getting through her intense physical transformation.

“When I was a girl wanting to win the Miss Central Falls Recreation Contest — wanting to look good in a bikini, wanting to be thin and cute and delicate and pretty — I just wanted to be willowy and thin. I was always muscular and thicker, and I felt like my femininity could not be created with this canvas. And then all of a sudden, with this role, my muscles, my arms, my thick legs, my heavy voice were perfect. I felt unapologetic about it. I celebrated it physically in every way,” Davis tells PEOPLE. “Sometimes you do a movie and then it’s over. And sometimes, you do a movie and it shifts you a little bit. You’re a little bit better for it. And that’s what it’s been like for me with the training.”

https://people.com/health/trainer-details-intense-fitness-plan-for-viola-davis-the-woman-king-cast-they-became-warriors/

The Silenced Adoptee

The latest fad in adoption positive rhetoric is being “trauma-informed.” Make no mistake, being a trauma-informed parent or mental health practitioner is a good thing. But being trauma-informed does not absolve one from knowingly and willingly inflicting trauma.

This is what we are seeing now with the newest wave of “adoption reforms” that aim to make adoption “more ethical.” If prospective adoptive parents are trauma-informed, they will be better parents and therefore, adoption will be better. But let’s examine the logic of this. Adoption is an institution founded on classist, racist, ableist, and colonialist ideologies. It is rooted in the idea that the only valid family structure is nuclear, that only certain people are worthy of parenting, and that money is the best indicator of parental fitness. Most importantly, adoption causes trauma, and we know this, through both empirical research and the testimonials of plenty of adopted and displaced people. Adoption is systemically harmful, unjust, and unnecessary.

The idea that being a trauma-informed adoptive parent is somehow going to magically dismantle all these intersecting oppressive forces upholding the adoption industry is a category error. You are mistaking your individual experiences within an institution for the institution itself. The system is fundamentally unethical and it cannot be reformed into a state of moral goodness by some trauma-informed parenting. If you know adoption causes trauma and that trauma is preventable, then you are perpetuating a harmful system if you adopt. And it doesn’t matter how much you have read about or been trained in trauma-informed parenting.

Positioning trauma-informed parenting as a way to make adoption more ethical is like saying it’s ok to buy this puppy from the puppy mill because I’m going to give it such a loving home. Not only have you not made puppy mills more ethical, but you are perpetuating the practice.

#adoption #adoptees #adopted #displaced #systemicharms #trauma #traumainformed #ethics #humanrights #morality #familypreservation #abolishfamilypolicing

Retained a Williamstown law firm to review the P&S. Attorney got back to me last night with some good feedback and a suggestion for a minor change.

Made an appointment with a home inspector.

Booked reservations for me so Ron could stay with Lizzie.

Ron gave Lizzie a bath yesterday evening.

We met with a moving company representative yesterday. Estimate is in line with what I expected.

Realtor said he’s shown the house to over 20 people.

Finally feeling mostly back to normal.

Brought Lizzie to the vet this morning for her semi-annual checkup.

I’ve been fretting that I lost the cottage with views, but this morning, Ron said he didn’t care about that and loved that the house we picked has a two-car garage.

Phew.

Appraiser visited today. Unexpected but we had a chance to get her in here earlier than originally planned, which was great.

I am on edge about all of this: the money I’ve spent, the money committed, will everything fall into place.

Our attorney’s office sent the release of mortgage docs to Ed.

Cramps and excretions from 8 on Saturday, all day Sunday. Still going on now, Monday morning, but not as bad. Haven’t felt that kind of pain since I had menstrual periods.

Making an offer on a house in Williamstown. Not ideal but has a lot to offer: low price, 2-car garage with attic storage, 2 bathrooms with step-in showers, pantry, laundry on first floor, three bedrooms.

I was furious with Lizzie last night. She Trumped diarrhea all over the kitchen. I got hamburger for her; chicken and rice is not as nutritious as I thought.

Betsy has kindly agreed to let us stay with her in between houses. Fantastic.

I ordered dog diapers for Lizzie.

Gave Lizzie her meds yesterday.

Ron was up and at ’em in plenty of time to gas up and return the rental car.

Bed’s made, laundry and dishes are clean and put away.

Made three? day’s worth of food for Lizzie. She seems to be okay, no ill effects from her spectacular jump yesterday.

Set up video tour appointment with a realtor for tomorrow. Sounds like a good house that needs cosmetics; not a big deal.

I’ve been in pain since getting up. Ron seems to be fine.

I liked the first house we saw in Orange, but there are move-in date complications and Ron hates the town.

The Brattleboro house got a thumbs-down because of the insane hills, ravine, move-in date (possibly as late as end of December or even January) and a snotty listing agent.

We enjoyed the ride, though. Traveled in daylight both ways so were able to take in some late but still beautiful foliage. Had some good, reasonably priced meals and a visit to a pub on the Connecticut River that we loved.

Lizzie was a trouper. She was excellent in the motel. I’m worried that she may have hurt herself getting out of the car, though: she was so happy to be back she jumped out and landed hard on the driveway.

We are giving up a good house and it’ll be difficult to find all the features that this house offers. So, adjustments will need to be made.

The ideal is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath with a barn or a basement shop on public sewer and water with at least a quarter acre in a New England community that is not overly religious and near a good hospital.

We’ll likely be giving up central air, although there is hope that we’ll find a place where it can be added.

It would be nice to have a fireplace, a walk-in shower, a gas stove.

Online house hunting is phenomenal: search and filter capabilities, massive amounts of information.

Would like just Being for a while.

Did an early grocery shop, store was pretty uncrowded.

Stopped off at the Senior Center on the way back, picked up a free cheesecake.

Got in touch with two law firms today about representing us on the house sale.

Made salad and more food for Lizzie.

Ron did laundry.

I placed a reservation for Thursday.

Called realtors in Orange MA and Brattleboro.

Plumbers got the outdoor shower ready for winter, thus making me/us a bit poorer.

Found Ed’s email on the old computer, wrote to him about the sale.