I was going through old photos and cards today, and I came across a letter which I’d forgotten about, from my adoptive mother, dated June 26, 2002.
The letter is honest, direct and heartfelt. It’s in response to one that I wrote. I don’t have a copy of my letter, but it seems from her answer that I had tried to explain the pain of my growing-up years.
The letter goes like this:
“Your last letter blew my mind. I’ve written draft after draft trying to answer it. Thought I’d start with the past and work my way up to the present.
“Thinking back, our happiest days were spent on Belden St. Came to Milton because the schools were better, but the people weren’t, starting with the Real Estate guy who lied when he told us there were a lot of Jews in this part of Town. Turned out only the (name of family withheld). So there was a factor we all had to go thru. (Name withheld) used to introduce me as Rose (Name withheld) her Italian friend.
“I know your days at Belcher weren’t happy days. I’m sorry for that and if I didn’t support you was because I didn’t know any better. I’ve always had an inferiority complex due to my 8 grades of learning and my family background. You’re so right when you say we are different. I agree 100%. I never realized you were made a scapegoat in Girl Scouts. I know you disliked (my fifth grade teacher, name withheld), but with my intellect I thought many kids hated their teachers so did nothing about it.
“I’m truly sorry for all the times I didn’t support you and the times we argued. Please except my sincere apologies for all the times I’ve hurt you. I must have a mean streak in me that I didn’t realize on second thought it may be a jealous streak, that you are so smart and I’m so inept that I don’t say what I should say.”
In spite of the cratering real estate market, Belden Street, in Dorchester, is on its way back; I found two listings today in the $370,000 range. The Boston Latin School, which as Boston residents my sister and I would have been able to attend if we’d passed an entrance exam*, is still considered one of the top Grade 7-12 schools in the United States.
The Belcher Elementary School is long gone, replaced years ago by a circle of single family houses.
I don’t know what became of the teacher and the family friends whose names I withheld.
My adoptive mother and I did see each other again, a number of times before she passed away.
The only thing wrong with my adoptive mother’s letter, which is so full of compassion, humility and sincere regret, is that it wasn’t public. So, I’ve corrected that by publishing her words here. I don’t think she’d mind.
*No doubt we would have passed: our average SAT scores were in the 700’s, back in the day when 800 was perfect. My sister and I aren’t geniuses, but we worked our butts off in school.