TheCapeBlog

It warmed up quite a bit today, creating a romantic foggy scene this morning.

A good New Year’s Day with the family, all of us.

Ron and I attended the New Year’s Day parade and blessing in Woods Hole, then a quick drive to Monomoscoy.

Peter, Bonnie and the grands came over for brunch: bagels, bacon, fish and crab cakes, ham, carrot/zucchini fritters, dessert.  The kids made their traditional New Year’s Shirley Temples.

In the evening, Ron and I watched the depressing “Pelle the Conqueror”.

I ended the day with an invocation against the Evil Eye.  It upset Ron because I returned him symbolically to Melody, who he has described as flawless in every respect and thus, I believe to be more deserving of him than I am with all of my many physical and mental faults and limitations.  I am very afraid of her, of Berkeley’s pull on my husband and of mal occio.  I want only the best for Ron and to protect him from the evil that’s dogged me since the day I was conceived.

Keyn aynhoreh!

We went to Chatham for First Night and got there too late to buy buttons, which was just as well: one of the venues that interested us was so crowded that there was still a long line to get in 15 minutes after the scheduled performance start time.

Instead, we had coffee and dessert at a church and sat in on a good Dixieland set in the Atrium.  Pretty much crashed as soon as we got home.

We stopped at the Mashpee Library and borrowed a book and a couple of films for the long weekend, including “Annie Hall”, which Ron had never seen.  He loved it and identified with Alvy, while I’ve always related to Annie’s clumsiness and self-consciousness.

We also stopped by Han Dun to meet Emma and CVS for one of Ron’s prescriptions and picked up some supplies at Staples.

We confirmed that Ron can use Service Credit Union in Falmouth as a remote branch of his credit union in Berkeley.

I made a heavy soup from the bones left from the spiral ham for supper.

Ron and I took James, Eric and Ethan sledding yesterday.  We had a great time, but I fell on some ice, and was pretty sore last night, but feeling much better this morning.

Ron and I met with our attorney about wills, deeds, health care proxies and powers of attorney.  It was an excellent meeting, and we got a lot of vexing questions answered and issues resolved.

We opened a joint checking account as well, stopped in to Art’s Bike Shop and had a set of keys made for me at the hardware store next door.  I picked up pizza for lunch for us and a snack for the boys after sledding.

We had a really good Cook’s spiral ham for supper along with spinach and candied carrots.  We’d picked up dessert and bread at the Senior Center, which was loaded with day-olds from Roche Brothers.

Ron figured out that sometimes, I get giddy when I’m upset about things.

He could be correct. After a trying late afternoon yesterday, I couldn’t stop laughing once we settled down for the night.

I imagined a scenario in which I was assembled of parts from his various girlfriends. As he’s been telling me more about his past life, I realized that I’m sleeping not only with one man but with the vestigial DNA of enough women to make up the starting lineup of a major league baseball team.

There was Suzanne, Melody, Benny, Judy, Jennifer, Annette, Susan, Linda, Jeanne.   I imagined having one person’s tiny body, another’s Asian eyes, the deep throat of a third and of course, the memorable vagina of the girl with whom he used to play “doctor”.

These were not one night stands but relationships lasting anywhere from several months to decades.  He still keeps in touch with some of these women and considers them valued friends.

Ron’s been telling me about his life over the last forty years, the hitchhiking trips, the Rainbow Gatherings, his careers as a lab tech, a bike messenger and finally as a stagehand, the bands he played with, the cross-country journeys to art shows, weddings and funerals.

It occurred to me that he could have done all of that, and possibly more, if he, Peter and I had been a family.   Well, maybe not the art shows, but certainly the rest of it.

The only thing that would have been missing were hallucinogenics and nukkie from any post-1969 members of the harem listed above.

Only Ron can tell me and Peter if it was worth it to give up a wife who was working steady and more importantly, helping his son grow up.

Myself, I can’t imagine that either the sex or the acid were that great.  But I could be wrong.

This past week has thrown me off balance.  Ron is thoughtful and easy to live with, but I need to adjust to another person in ways I hadn’t expected.  Like not driving myself and, thus, losing track of my keys because they are not in the ignition.  Like waking up with aches and pains because my legs and arms have been in awkward positions, making room for another person in bed.

These are things that no one tells you about, focusing instead on heavy issues like money, childrearing, religion.

All in all, though, I’m glad that we caught up with one another.

I do deeply and profoundly regret, though, that it took so long.  And it deeply hurts my heart that I have so little to offer compared to all the girls he’s loved before:  no artfully decorated house in a prestigious neighborhood, no 50-acre farm with a glorious barn, no tiny body, no exquisite face, no wealth, no worldly stories about international travel.

I feel like he cheated himself by marrying me.  I feel like he’s been ripped off yet one more time.  Poor fellow.

Boston was hit pretty hard yesterday, with snow accumulations of up to 19 inches.

We had about 5 inches total: fortunate because it was the wet, heavy stuff.  Peter is lucky to have a snow blower.  I am lucky to have Ron’s help.

We got through a few errands, including the transfer station run, and in the process, I managed to lose my house keys.  Still have some places to check.  We’d just had a duplicate set made for Ron, so it could have been worse.  I’ve lost a pile of loyalty cards, though, and the only working key to the shed.

Busy day anticipated today: meeting with attorney Russell to discuss will, deed, etc., hoping to stop off at the DUA office next door, and have some calls to make.

If it’s not too cold, we promised to take James and the Robbinses sledding.  We dropped off James’ tube and the air pump yesterday afternoon.

Ron prepares breakfast for Mr. Fluffles in the Berkeley Bowl.  Mr. Fluffles slept on our feet last night.

Ron fixed a bookcase where I’ve hit my head more than once, promising “It will never hurt my wife again.”  He also installed a knife holder for the new Shun cutlery.

269 Broadway in Central Square, Cambridge, MA.  We used to live here, or at least reasonably close by; we think the actual building may have been torn down.  It was a tenement very much like this one which would have been right next door, in the same complex.