TheCapeBlog

My husband Ron is bright and good-natured, a combination hard to find.

He can also be self-absorbed, easily frustrated and an inveterate procrastinator.

I am very hard-working, considerate most of the time to friends and family, reasonably well-informed, and a decent cook.

I am also impatient, distrustful, frequently late, and have a vicious temper when provoked. I am poor at foreign languages, physically unattractive and have no sense of style.

We all make compromises.

Ron’s preference is for small, dark women. His “all the girls I wish I’d loved before” include Maria Muldaur and Annette Funicello. Instead, he’s married to me, dear fellow. By taking that step, he’s made a huge sacrifice for our family’s benefit. Put into that perspective, I can easily live with his faults. Then again, considering that Maria now weighs about 300 pounds and poor Annette has MS, maybe he’s not that bad off after all.

‎”People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad.” ~Marcel Proust

They are right, January is the coldest month. The Herald warns this morning of wind chills as low as 16 below tonight and tomorrow morning in Boston.

We are getting later sunsets, though; it’s still light around 4:30 in the afternoon.

James and Shane slept over last night, but we didn’t do anything outdoors yesterday. I worked almost the entire day on web stuff.

It’s that time again:
From the 1983 Old Farmer’s Almanac

One of the people I follow on Facebook suggested that those of us who have been abused in the past try to build a “mountain” of positive memories.

To start with, positive memories of M-E-N.

This is a lot harder than it seems. When I think about those closest to me, the memories get swamped by feelings that I would rather avoid.

The point is to remember interactions untainted by commerce, with people you know personally, not favorite authors, philosophers or statesmen.

My neighbor John is the first one I can think of. He’s always come to my aid when I needed help and never expected anything in return. In spite of some serious health problems, he’s always uncomplaining with me and he’s never patronizing about the fact that he knows so much more than I do.

My friend Steve Garrity from college is another. I haven’t seen or heard or thought about Steve for years, but he was always kind to me. A Vietnam War vet (in fact, a Marine), Steve was real stand-up guy, bright and with a great sense of humor. I remember a couple of field trips we took with our ecology prof. One time, it was raining so hard, we had to sleep in the prof’s car. We laughed and laughed, and it makes me happy to think of it.

I knew some really nice fellows in Seattle: Mike, who took Peter and I camping once, and the late Gordon Cowan, husband of my friend Chris Cowan. Gordon was a real gentleman’s gentleman, calling his wife “lovey” even in the course of an argument. Gordon was the one who broke the news about my adoptive father’s passing away.

I have good memories of my cousins Paul and Rick, associated with our summer visits to their parents’ house in Plymouth. Paul has a brilliant, acerbic wit. Rick is a retired public school science teacher who is extremely handy and an excellent father, husband and son. It makes me happy to remember morning walks to the donut shop or trips to the ice cream stand, which amazingly is still there.

Not a bad start.

I bought roses for Emme to celebrate her acceptance at Sturgis and some for me, too.

A day or two ago, I asked Ron not to call or email until he decides when and if he’s moving to Mashpee. The cock/tails, the I/me focus and his perpetual dodging about future plans were making me a little crazy; in fact, more than a little.

Today was my first real day of peace since we re-connected last September. And boy oh boy was I on all cylinders – finally.

I played with eBay TurboLister for a while, gave up on it, and downloaded and installed a trial version of Excel 2010 and an eBay plugin.

I fixed the MRS video problem, embedded a new video file on one of the Stove Center sites and proved once and for all that the file is too large to download.

I dropped a DVD off to Redbox; redeemed a fat coupon and bought some expandable folders on sale at Staples; had my flat tire fixed and remounted on the truck; paid the 3 biggest bills of the month; mailed off checks and correspondence; paid the mortgage at BofA; attended a seminar on Tufts Medicare plans; picked up meds at Stop & Shop; had an early light dinner at Pain d’Avignon; got the CT scan order squared away with my doctor’s office; dropped in to see Emma Brennan at Han Dun; and picked up a few things at the Dollar store.

It feels so good to have had a normal day. I could get used to being single again.

Berries: blue, straw, cran, rasp, black

Avocados, carrots, tomatoes, eggplant

Spinach, Kale, Romaine lettuce, brussels sprouts, broccoli

Wild salmon, sardines, herring

Seeds: sunflower, sesame, flax, pumpkin

Nuts: walnuts, hazelnuts, Brazil, filberts, almonds, cashews, peanuts

Oatmeal

Brown rice

Whole grain bread

Popcorn

Barley

Beans: black, lima, pinto kidney, garbanzo, Great Northern, navy, peas, lentils

Cantaloupe, mango, apricot, papaya, oranges, prunes, red grapes, cherries

Green tea

Dark chocolate

Water

Sage

Eggs

Curry spice

Don’t confuse me, James!

James, who has stayed over the last two nights, woke up this morning thinking it was Monday.  In fact, he was positive, so much so that when I told him it was Saturday, he couldn’t believe it: “How is that possible?”

He may have been thrown off by their strange school schedule, a four-day weekend starting with a teacher training day on Friday and ending with MLK day.

First overnight of 2011, James, Tyler and Shane stayed over on Saturday.  It’s been a while since the boys have been here, and they were much quieter this time.  Guess they are growing up!

Fluffles stayed with them all night, first on James’ bed, then Shane’s.

I set them up dormitory style, we have enough mattresses and bedding for 3 guests.