I think I was deeply traumatized when Sandy was born, and I’ve been terrified of being replaced by small, dark women ever since.
Ron was at his wit’s end with me today but he stuck with me as I managed to find the bottom of all the pain and loss that I’ve been feeling since we got back together again last Fall.
I’ve wanted him to understand that the treatment of large, ugly women is as cruel and unjust as any other kind of discrimination that’s based on looks.
I’ve wanted him to acknowledge that he bought into that line of garbage foisted by the Jewish-dominated fashion and entertainment industry that only the Audrey Hepburn types are “beautiful”. I wanted him to admit that was the reason that he rejected me, that he was searching for the perfect woman and not having found her, realized late in life that a good person (me) was standing under yonder tree.
The hatred and sadism I’ve faced because of my appearance made life a torture chamber for my first 65 years. I want to escape. I’ve asked Ron to help me.